A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
Marriage requires mutual understanding and trust. Mental compatibility is the most important in marriage. There are several factors when trust is broken in marriage and as many ways to go about putting together the broken pieces. The reasons may be infidelity, substance abuse, deceitfulness, etc. All this requires a conscious effort by both the people to rebuild their marriage.
Some concrete steps that can be taken to rebuild broken trust in marriage are:
- Stay committed to rebuilding your marriage
One must work on rebuilding the marriage. Families, relatives and friends give their opinion regarding what should be done in such a situation but eventually, it rests on an individual to think clearly and decide what should be done and pick the correct path ahead. Separation isn’t always the right option even though it may seem the easier option. For couples with children, separation becomes a complicated task also.
- Know what you want in marriage
Everyone has their own ideals and expectations from marriage. Each one has different sets of views on how marriage should be. One may feel betrayed if these ideas are not realized in the future after marriage. A good marriage consists of shared visions goals that differ from marriage to marriage. Couples need to be very clear on them.
- If something is broken, try to fix it first.
Sometimes those who have faced issues in marriage end up having a bond in the long run, so marital problems are not necessarily a bad thing always One simply needs to work at fixing these with dedication and faith.
One should take rebuilding a marriage as a learning opportunity as to what went wrong and what needs to be altered in the marriage. It takes a lot of work jointly by the couple to rebuild their marriage. This may sound easier than it really is – often while one partner wants to repair the marriage the other may not want the same situation. Such conflicts need to be addressed mutually first.
Need for counselling
When breakdowns happen,it may also require professional help. Therappo’s online counselling helps one to learn recognized communication techniques in case one feels depressed, lonely, insecure and wanting to leave the conversation in order to rebuild the marriage.
Do you feel you and your spouse have become roommates rather than intimate partners?
If yes, take a session online with Therappo’s relationship counsellors. They may help you to appreciate the good things you have in your marriage and how you could go about fixing those conflict areas that seem so huge in both your minds right now.
If you feel that the only need to rebuild your relationship is for the sake of your children, that is not a good thing either. The “marriage” needs to work for it to be good for your kids. In so many cases it is seen that children are the only reason for couples not to separate whereas in reality there are several things that need to be worked upon to make a marriage work.
Are you responsible to break trust in your marriage?
- Be truthful and open in all plans and communications including texts, emails, phone calls etc.
- Accept that it takes time to rebuild trust. If the trust was broken due to your actions, you need to remain patient and work at regaining it gradually.
- While being open in the process of communication, one should also learn about the emotional vulnerabilities and insecurities.
- Never blame the other spouse for betrayal if your decision is to rebuild the marriage.
- Stay positive whenever you speak about your spouse to relatives, friends, family, etc.
Adjust Your Expectations
Each one has an ideal expectation regarding a spouse and it may be sometimes unrealistic for the other partner to fit in completely. To rebuild a marriage it becomes very important to accept each other’s limitations.
Genuine trust is developed will help in avoiding resentments. Resentments are detrimental to one’s marriage health. Disagreements in marriage may never be fully resolved. By adjusting our expectations trust does not get compromised.
Focus on a change
We should work on making changes first within ourselves than expecting our spouse to change. This helps in avoiding dissatisfaction from marriage. Also indulge in activities that you like e.g walking, hiking, swimming, etc.
Make small changes if they improve situations in marriage. Accept and identify challenges, its helps a person to become more forgiving.
Be more open and confide feelings to your spouse.
Many people don’t like to express their true feelings. It takes some courage. An intimate relation in marriage requires this courage. Telling your true feelings are a way to take responsibility for them and not blaming the other person.
Mend an argument
Arguments happen in the best marriages also – it is ok to have them.Minimize it by ending your arguments on a healthy note. There are ways to agree and to disagree with one another. Usage of humour and a genuine or honest appreciation also works to mend an argument.
Therappo’s online counselling can serve as a right kind of help for couples wanting to rebuild trust in their marriage. This online counselling enables and encourages what kind of resources are required in order to rebuild a marriage. A better know how regarding problems helps to resolve issues faster and more easily. Theroppo’s counselling helps to deal with relations more patiently apart from repairing one’s marriage.